I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
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