well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
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