Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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