I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
