why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
if i died would you start the facebook group?
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize