I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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