Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
