I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize