i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize