That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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