two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
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