On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
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