All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Randomize
