He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
areolas are like halos for boobs.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Randomize
