Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize
