Are we in a gay sports bar?
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
