I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Randomize
