we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize