I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
