a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
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