Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
