Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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