Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
