Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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