I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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