This is not my ceiling
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Randomize