omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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