He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
A bitchslap is in order.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
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