I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
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