She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
