5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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