i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Randomize
