I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
