I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
Randomize
