im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
well most of my day revolves around power hour
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
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