He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
