More tranny stories later!
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
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