We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
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