dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I have fence marks all over my body
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Randomize
