I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
I don't think brook has ever known best
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
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