They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
Sober January is a disaster.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Randomize