and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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