return my video game
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Randomize
