You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
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