East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
My vagina is very pro this idea
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