I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
