I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
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