Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
