Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
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