youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Randomize
