I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
