sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize
