Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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