I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
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