They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize
