we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
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