theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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