arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
