I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
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