it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
