i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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